Have we turned hiring into Tinder?
Swipe. Match. Delete.
Hiring has started to look more and more like a high-churn dating game. Job platforms have made applying so easy that an employer can be swamped with hundreds of applications for a single role. A few get shortlisted, some get invited to interviews, and one gets chosen. The others—the ones who made it all the way to final rounds—receive a polite rejection. And that’s the end of the short romance. No follow-up. No “let’s stay in touch.”
A few months later, the new hire doesn’t work out—or another similar role needs to be filled. Suddenly the founder is scrambling: “Do you know anyone good? I need to rehire, fast.” And just like that, they’re back to hiring Tinder. Starting from scratch. Swipe. Match. Delete. Ignoring all the candidates from the last hiring round.
I believe most companies don’t have a hiring problem—they have a relationship problem. Hiring isn’t a one-off transaction. It’s a system of trust that grows over time, if it’s nurtured. It’s about keeping the door open, even when the role is already filled.
But if we treat candidates like one-time bets, it’s no wonder that hiring always feels like a cold start—with too many frogs to kiss before we get lucky (or not). The best founders I see have a relationship management system. Sometimes it’s as simple as adding every applicant on LinkedIn so that, when a new role opens up, previous candidates see it right away. That way, they keep their pipeline warm.
Great talent isn’t something we find at the push of a button. It’s something we build and foster long before we even know we need it.
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Everyone Knows an Emma (and That’s the Problem)
Everyone knows an Emma.
Emma, the founder drowning in to-dos.
Emma, who swore this month she’d finally get help.
Emma, who spent three hours on Fiverr trying to find “a VA who can do everything.” I call them unicorns.I’ve met many Emmas, and here’s what I’ve observed: Emma isn’t the problem. The hiring process is.
When her inbox hit 1,200 unread messages, Emma went to Fiverr. She typed “virtual assistant, reliable, proactive, English fluent” and hired someone in 48 hours. For two weeks, things looked fine. Then tasks slipped, instructions were repeated, and eventually, the VA disappeared mid-project.
So Emma said what many founders say in this situation:
“I guess I’m just bad at delegating.”
or
“There are no good people out there.”But here’s what really happened:
• Nobody helped Emma define what she actually needed.
• Nobody asked, “What will success look like 90 days from now?”
• Nobody said, “You don’t need a VA, you need a project coordinator.”Marketplaces can’t ask those questions. They just match keywords. They don’t challenge business owners on what they think they need. Marketplaces are built for transactions, not transformations.
Good agencies are different. They sit with the messy notes from founders, the voice messages, the vague frustration of “I just need help,” and turn that into a clear process. They design a role before the hire.
That invisible work — the questioning, the clarifying, the diagnosing — is what turns a two-week freelancer into a two-year team member.
So stop the cycle of hiring before understanding.
Before hiring, take the time to:
1- Get help defining what you truly need.
2- Map the skills to your real priorities.
3- Make sure your new hire has the context to succeed.The goal isn’t to fill a seat fast. It’s to know when Fiverr fits, and when it doesn’t.
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Do Women Hire Differently? I Think So
Men tend to hire to plug a hole in their organization. It’s functional: a task, a role, a gap.
Women, on the other hand, often hire with their hearts. We look for chemistry, for someone we can connect with. We want to know if this person will fit into the culture, not just the job description.
Some might think that’s idealistic. I think it’s realistic, because culture drives performance.
When hiring for cultural fit, the stakes are also higher, because when every hire is an emotional investment, every mis-hire hurts twice as much.
That’s one of the reasons I started Staff4Half. I wanted an agency that understands how women hire, with empathy, connection, and care, and that can support female founders in making smart, sustainable hiring decisions.
We don’t just scan résumés for functional fits. We help founders find people who belong, who are a cultural fit in every sense. I believe the right person doesn’t just fill a role, she transforms the team.
P.S. Case in point: my VA, Amara Krausse Horlacher, who has become my second half, my second brain. This is only possible because we are emotionally aligned.
If you’ve ever felt the emotional weight of hiring, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to do it alone.
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New episode of The Hiring Conversation is out!
EP 05: How To Build a High Trust Remote Team as a Founder With Felena Hanson
This week I sit down with Felena Hanson, Founder of Hera Hub, to talk about what founders often get wrong about remote leadership.
We unpack:
– Why trust is not a personality trait, it’s a design decision
– The difference between accountability and control
– How to create connection without micromanaging
– What high-performing remote teams actually need from their founder
One of my favorite takeaways:
High trust doesn’t mean “hands off.”
It means clear expectations, strong communication rhythms, and real ownership.
If you’re building remotely (or thinking about it), this conversation will challenge how you define leadership.
🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream.
And let me know what’s been the hardest part of leading remotely for you?
