A couple of weeks ago, I announced that I’m relaunching my podcast—this time focusing on female entrepreneurs: how they lead, how they grow their teams, and how they build businesses that last. Because I truly believe that we women lead differently.
This week, I finally sat down with Merlijn Mazairac to record the first episode, and I left feeling absolutely energized. From the start of our conversation, the connection was there. She spoke with such openness about living abroad, building her consulting company, and leading her team through growth and change.
Here are three ideas from her leadership journey that inspired me most:
1️⃣ Colleagues sitting side by side for years without really knowing each other. Merlijn has seen it happen, and now uses intentional exercises to help people open up and truly connect.
2️⃣ Team fails are leadership lessons. She reminded me that struggles, mismatched hires, disconnection, and even tough exits all carry value. Talking about them openly makes us better leaders—and helps others avoid the same mistakes.
3️⃣ Salary conversations in times of inflation. She doesn’t shy away from the tough talks—the ones that test not just your budget, but your leadership itself.
For me, this first recording is about growing as a leader by listening to the honest stories of others. I’m deeply grateful to Merlijn for sharing her journey so openly—and excited for all the conversations ahead.
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Clarity Is Kindness
Most leadership mistakes don’t happen because people don’t care. They happen because things stay vague for too long.
I see this over and over again with founders and leaders.
They say things like
“I thought it was obvious.”
“I assumed they understood.”
“I didn’t want to micromanage.”And then, weeks later, they feel frustrated, disappointed, or quietly resentful.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth.
Clarity is not micromanagement.
Clarity is kindness.When expectations live only in your head, people are forced to guess. When priorities are implied instead of stated, people fill in the gaps with their own assumptions. When feedback comes too late, it feels personal instead of useful.
Most teams don’t fail because of a lack of talent. They fail because of a lack of shared understanding.
The leaders who grow the fastest are the ones willing to say the obvious out loud. Even when it feels repetitive. Even when it feels uncomfortable. Even when they worry they’re being too direct. Especially then.
Strong leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about creating an environment where people know where they’re headed, how their work fits in, and what success actually looks like.
That means clearly naming priorities, giving feedback early rather than perfectly, explaining the why and not just the what, and making decisions visible instead of hiding them in private conversations.
When clarity becomes the norm, something shifts.
People stop second guessing themselves. Energy goes into execution instead of interpretation. Trust increases because there are fewer surprises. And leaders stop carrying everything alone.
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disappointed with how things are playing out on your team, ask yourself this before changing the people: have I truly made the expectations clear?
Leadership isn’t about being softer or tougher. It’s about being clearer.
And clarity changes everything.
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Stop Hiring the Person You Like. Start Hiring for What You Need.
If you don’t know what you really need, you’ll hire the person you like most.
I’ve read hundreds of small business job descriptions, and 95% make the same mistake: they’re more of a wishlist than a job description.
A typical one looks like this:
We want someone who can:
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Manage the calendar
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Write the newsletters
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Run operations
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Handle support
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Think like a strategist
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Execute like a machine
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And work across four time zones
What’s the problem with that?
It mixes six completely different skill sets: administrative, creative, operational, technical, strategic, and customer-facing. That’s not a job. It’s a fantasy.
If someone like that existed, they’d already be running their own business, not applying to work for yours.
Here’s what to do instead:
1️⃣ Write down everything you wish this person would do.
2️⃣ Circle the three most critical things.
3️⃣ Build a role around those, not all seventeen.Once you’ve found that person and developed a good rhythm, go back to your list, see what’s still open, and hire the next person.
Hiring isn’t about finding magic. It’s about making trade-offs and slowly building a team that can cover all the tasks you want to delegate.
Focus beats fantasy. Every time.
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Clarity Isn’t Certainty. It’s Direction
Clarity Isn’t Certainty. It’s Direction
I used to think clarity meant having the answers.
Now I know it usually means asking better questions.
Most leadership breakdowns I see don’t come from bad intentions or weak talent. They come from leaders assuming everyone understands what feels obvious to them.
But clarity in your head is not clarity in the room.
Teams don’t struggle because they don’t care.
They struggle because they’re guessing.
Guessing what matters most.
Guessing how decisions are made.
Guessing which tradeoffs are acceptable.
Guessing what “good” actually looks like.
And guessing quietly erodes confidence.
The moment a leader says the obvious out loud, something changes.
People relax.
Execution speeds up.
Ownership increases.
Not because people suddenly became smarter.
But because they’re no longer operating in fog.
Strong leadership today isn’t about certainty.
It’s about orientation.
Naming priorities.
Making assumptions explicit.
Saying “this matters more than that.”
And being willing to revisit decisions as new information shows up.
If your team feels stuck, don’t push harder.
Try clarifying faster.
The question I ask most often with leadership teams is simple:
What do you know in your head that your team hasn’t heard yet?
That’s usually where the work begins.
