Everyone knows an Emma.
Emma, the founder drowning in to-dos.
Emma, who swore this month she’d finally get help.
Emma, who spent three hours on Fiverr trying to find “a VA who can do everything.” I call them unicorns.
I’ve met many Emmas, and here’s what I’ve observed: Emma isn’t the problem. The hiring process is.
When her inbox hit 1,200 unread messages, Emma went to Fiverr. She typed “virtual assistant, reliable, proactive, English fluent” and hired someone in 48 hours. For two weeks, things looked fine. Then tasks slipped, instructions were repeated, and eventually, the VA disappeared mid-project.
So Emma said what many founders say in this situation:
“I guess I’m just bad at delegating.”
or
“There are no good people out there.”
But here’s what really happened:
• Nobody helped Emma define what she actually needed.
• Nobody asked, “What will success look like 90 days from now?”
• Nobody said, “You don’t need a VA, you need a project coordinator.”
Marketplaces can’t ask those questions. They just match keywords. They don’t challenge business owners on what they think they need. Marketplaces are built for transactions, not transformations.
Good agencies are different. They sit with the messy notes from founders, the voice messages, the vague frustration of “I just need help,” and turn that into a clear process. They design a role before the hire.
That invisible work — the questioning, the clarifying, the diagnosing — is what turns a two-week freelancer into a two-year team member.
So stop the cycle of hiring before understanding.
Before hiring, take the time to:
1- Get help defining what you truly need.
2- Map the skills to your real priorities.
3- Make sure your new hire has the context to succeed.
The goal isn’t to fill a seat fast. It’s to know when Fiverr fits, and when it doesn’t.
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Stop Hiring the Person You Like. Start Hiring for What You Need.
If you don’t know what you really need, you’ll hire the person you like most.
I’ve read hundreds of small business job descriptions, and 95% make the same mistake: they’re more of a wishlist than a job description.
A typical one looks like this:
We want someone who can:
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Manage the calendar
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Write the newsletters
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Run operations
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Handle support
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Think like a strategist
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Execute like a machine
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And work across four time zones
What’s the problem with that?
It mixes six completely different skill sets: administrative, creative, operational, technical, strategic, and customer-facing. That’s not a job. It’s a fantasy.
If someone like that existed, they’d already be running their own business, not applying to work for yours.
Here’s what to do instead:
1️⃣ Write down everything you wish this person would do.
2️⃣ Circle the three most critical things.
3️⃣ Build a role around those, not all seventeen.Once you’ve found that person and developed a good rhythm, go back to your list, see what’s still open, and hire the next person.
Hiring isn’t about finding magic. It’s about making trade-offs and slowly building a team that can cover all the tasks you want to delegate.
Focus beats fantasy. Every time.
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Do Women Hire Differently? I Think So
Men tend to hire to plug a hole in their organization. It’s functional: a task, a role, a gap.
Women, on the other hand, often hire with their hearts. We look for chemistry, for someone we can connect with. We want to know if this person will fit into the culture, not just the job description.
Some might think that’s idealistic. I think it’s realistic, because culture drives performance.
When hiring for cultural fit, the stakes are also higher, because when every hire is an emotional investment, every mis-hire hurts twice as much.
That’s one of the reasons I started Staff4Half. I wanted an agency that understands how women hire, with empathy, connection, and care, and that can support female founders in making smart, sustainable hiring decisions.
We don’t just scan résumés for functional fits. We help founders find people who belong, who are a cultural fit in every sense. I believe the right person doesn’t just fill a role, she transforms the team.
P.S. Case in point: my VA, Amara Krausse Horlacher, who has become my second half, my second brain. This is only possible because we are emotionally aligned.
If you’ve ever felt the emotional weight of hiring, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to do it alone.
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