I didn’t start a company to be told which chair to buy, how many minutes a lunch break has to be, or whether my break room snacks meet code. I started it because I believed in building something better, and I wanted a team to build it with.
But what I’ve learned over 13 years as a California employer is this: the system doesn’t trust employers to care about their people. It assumes we’re out to exploit, and it assumes compliance creates care. So it piles on rule after rule, not realizing that the weight of all this regulation doesn’t protect good people—instead, I believe it crushes the ones who are trying to be good people.
As a female entrepreneur, I’ve always wanted to give my team the best. Yet I’ve spent more time worrying about lunch break laws than about how to help my people grow. To me, that’s not what leadership is supposed to look like.
Because I believe the best entrepreneurs do care. We remember birthdays. We pull all-nighters. We put payroll before profit. Not because a rulebook told us to, but because that’s who we entrepreneurs are. But somewhere along the way, the system forgot that.
It breaks my heart that the system stifles the very people who build businesses. And I believe that by doing this, we’re not protecting workers—we’re shrinking futures. More and more founders I know are looking abroad, not for cheaper labor, but for the freedom to lead well again.
And that should worry us all. Because when the American dream becomes unlivable for its dreamers, the dream doesn’t die—it just moves to another country.
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Freedom Doesn’t Come From Growth Alone
Most entrepreneurs start a business for two reasons: they want to do something better, and they want freedom. We build, we push forward, and eventually, we fix the problem. But freedom? That’s harder to reach.
We get caught in the fixing, and we convince ourselves that only if we grow, freedom will come. It took me time, and a few detours, to figure out how to build a business that doesn’t just work, but that works without me in every detail.
Now I focus less on fixing everything and more on building teams that run without me. Because freedom doesn’t come from growth alone. Freedom comes from clarity, structure, and a team that can move the business forward without me.
If you’re stuck in the fixing, maybe it’s time to design a business that frees you, not just feeds you.
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Hiring Isn’t About Unicorns—It’s About Clarity
You’re not bad at hiring. You’re just chasing a unicorn.
You want someone who can manage your calendar, write your newsletters, run operations, handle support, think like a strategist, execute like a machine, and work across four time zones—all for under $2,000 a month.
Here’s the hard truth: that person doesn’t exist. And if they did, they wouldn’t apply to your job.
So here’s what to do instead:
1️⃣ Write down everything you wish this person would do.
2️⃣ Circle the three most critical things.
3️⃣ Build a role around those—not all seventeen.Hiring isn’t about finding magic. It’s about making tradeoffs. Clarity beats fantasy. Every time.
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The Real Burnout: Why Leadership Isn’t About Hardening Your Heart
I cried the first time I had to fire someone. I felt it was my fault. As a founder, I’ve always believed we don’t just hire people, we invite them into our vision. We hope they’ll care as much as we do. And when they don’t, or when it doesn’t work, it feels like a personal failure.
For a long time, I kept people too long because I wanted to avoid admitting that failure. Instead, I twisted myself trying to make things work that clearly weren’t. I thought being a “good leader” meant being endlessly patient.
It took me years to understand that being a good leader actually means telling the truth kindly, clearly, and as soon as things become clear.
That’s why I believe most of us don’t burn out from overworking. We burn out from emotional entanglement, from holding the entire relationship on our shoulders, without anyone saying, “Hey, this isn’t working and here’s why.”
It took me years to learn that leadership isn’t about hardening your heart. It’s about keeping it open and acting anyway.
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